This increases the motivation to learn proper bowel habits. Eight years ago, at the age of 36, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Kids should be doing that anyway but they're alone in … He may feel his nose put out of joint with the younger one. Learn more about abnormally large poop, what generally causes it, … It's not acceptable behaviour my DD1 did it but she was about 18 months old and I remember it vividly. My OH (his father) is reluctant to punish him for this, so I don't feel its in my place to punish him if his Dad doesn't. I do think though your OH needs to understand that this behaviour is not acceptable and you need an united front to tackle it best. I'm not an expert by any means, but my immediate thought is that it's attention-seeking behaviour. He says it hurts and so he holds it in. ‘Also make sure you have regular toilet times. What can I do to get her to start wiping herself? These include: Psychologist Linda Blair says: ‘Because so many parents feel ashamed to admit to it, I don’t think we realise how common faecal smearing is. 'That might mean you have to go upstairs and shout into a pillow for a minute first! The first step is to make an appointment with your GP. How about making him clean it up himself while you supervise to ensure he does a proper job! My son is 4 years old and is also smearing poop on the furniture and was fully potty trained at one time. It does sound like that he has quality time with you but it could be that he needs more. the school has never said anything about it, but he has a parents evening coming up soon. It can be very difficult for you as a parent to cope with and can stop you wanting to have people over or go out, … I thought before approaching closer and realizing that my toddler was not finger painting with paint– it was poop. Eww the dirty little toe rag! To try to comprehend the genesis of movements like, “I’m going to put my own poop in my hand and smear it on the walls,” is a mind-numbing exercise for an outsider. When older children (past age six) soil their pants by choice and not by accident, they are old enough to learn how to be responsible for cleaning their soiled pants. This 8 year old girl is choosing to poop her pants despite having to clean herself and her pants up herself. Recently over Christmas vacation I had 3 children, Amber who is 8, her 6-year-old brother, Adam, and Kaitlyn who is 7. Reply. I would do simply as the other poster said and make him clean it and also do some research on the harmful affects of poo and confront him with the facts figures and pictures, as he is 9 he is old enough to understand about germs and infections, this may strike a cord I would say ask her if she wants some diapers, one she might be doing this as a means to control you because she is unable to communicate her will two she may very well wish to be treated like a baby again. Medical reasons could include: Linda adds: ‘I’d recommend parents rule out a physical or medical cause first. ‘If your child is autistic and doesn’t want hugs, you can still use praise. My 4 year old son has been potty trained for well over a year and a half. If your child is smearing at night, the National Autistic Society suggests thinking about using a special bodystocking to stop the behaviour. Sounds like you are doing a good job, but he has still suffered a hurt that is very deep. What time does your 9 year old go to bed. 'Did she show any behaviours that indicate she's going to smear: perhaps looking uncomfortable or taking herself off someone to be alone? He even likes to wipe his willy after he’s done a wee. Smearing can take lots of different forms, from a toddler reaching into her nappy and then wiping poo on herself through to an older child taking faeces out of the toilet and playing with it. I'm just wondering whether he's feeling ostracised because you're not his "real" mum and that he may think the other children are favoured. Everyone's kid is different though so its hard to tell what is going on with your son or how to handle it. Thank you for this article. Not necessarily common, but normal. Autism and Aspergers: school age children, CHAT: Autistic son started smearing walls, What you need to know about faecal smearing in children, Getting a sensation from the texture or smell of the faeces, Make sure your child is having enough fibre and water. My 9 year old step son often finger smears poo on the bathroom walls, floor, sink, bath and even his bedroom walls and the side of his bed. ‘What happens in the 10-15 minutes before your child smears. She asked some of her colleagues if they ever heard of it, and they hadn't. Just keep a neutral expression and clean up as calmly as you can. For more support, head to our chat forum where you can get advice and tips from other mums whose children are smearing. It fluctuates what our needs are for quality time and it could be that he is unsettled. I've been babysitting for nearly 10 years now. I’m curious….if my son is smearing would this be a sure sign that there is some sort of mental illness? This is an actual mental medical condition, which may be some form of voluntary encopresis. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. And is mainly Towards his dad but i have also seen it. I have a 4 year old daughter and she can use the toilet, but she wipes her poo onto the wall, and draws pictures with it. I see from your profile pic that one little poppet is quite young and no doubt requires more supervision and interaction. I asked the occupational therapist who was working with him at the time (he was three years old then), and she had never heard of it. It's driving me mad as we have two younger children and I don't want them touching it. Last modified on Thursday 17 December 2020. We always make sure we spend time with each of them and together as a family. didntseethiscoming Tue 19-Jul-11 13:36:58. Also, I would supervise her in the bathroom -- don't wipe for her, but help her learn exactly how to do it, … Don't overreact. Whether you have a toddler or an older child, if she is smearing her faeces on the wall, carpet or anywhere else, it can be a difficult and embarrassing (not to mention messy) issue for you to deal with. This means when your child realises she has done a poo, she wants to get rid of it. It may well be he "needs attention" rather than attention seeking(sorry I really don't like the phrase, we all have needs that need to be met). 'Does the smearing happen at predictable times or in particular places? My 9 year old step son often finger smears poo on the bathroom walls, floor, sink, bath and even his bedroom walls and the side of his bed. I’m not sure what has changed to prompt him to start doing this and I honestly feel lost and alone. Not only does she smear her poop everywhere, but she also has a corner in my living room where she, for the lack of a better term, "marks her territory." We spent some time at the mall, skating at a large park lagoon, and some other things largely outdoors because of the pandemic. It ultimately changed my outlook on life. I work in an Elementary School and we have found several instances where a little girl has smeared poop on the bathroom wall. It's driving me mad as we have two younger children and I don't want them touching it. He doesn't have any special needs but his biological mother moved abroad when he was very young and that affected him quite a lot. At three or four years old, some of those techniques can work, but at 5, 6, 7 and 8 years old, it is beyond normal toilet training tactics. First published on Friday 8 July 2016 This article contains affiliate links, which means we may earn a small amount of money if a reader clicks through and makes a purchase. The other children are my partners biological children aged 4 years and 1 year old. i worked with kids in care and this wasnt unusual behaviour. Replies. She knows when to pee on the potty and does it fine. You can also read up on everything child-related, from behaviour to sleep and food, in our. if he then comes out and theres poo around the room.. hand him a dettol wipe and say " can you clean your poo marks off please it's unhygenic" .. this is simply teaching him the rules your not punishing him by telling him what is expected of him in the toilet . Don't let a parent push their success with their two year old to make you feel like they have any idea about your 8 year old. It's not acceptable behaviour my DD1 did it but she was about 18 months old and I remember it vividly. You mention that you have two younger children; are they your and your OH's biological children? A 2-year-old is struggling with attempting to master his own body, to control it's functions, and is quite curious about his productions. If OH is so keen he isn't punished leave it to him to clean up! It ultimately changed my outlook on life. 2009-02-09 23:09:43. because he likes to. It sounds like he may have encopresis. My 8 years old son just started smearing 2 weeks ago. Then, after a week's supervision you let him go alone, if it happens again, back to supervision. Hi thanks for replies :-) 'After you've cleaned up, invite your child to sit on the toilet and if she produces anything, that is the time to show lots of emotion — all positive!'. While there are no official figures about how many children are affected by faecal smearing, it’s usually linked to one of the reasons below, or more often to a combination of reasons. Taken together, these simple measures may sort out the problem.'. I would for a start say or call out down the hall every time he goes into the toilet " can you try and keep your poo in the toilet please and wash your hands afterwards thankyou." Has he changed class at school or anything like that recently? He also has regressional behavior. My 6 days away from 3 year old as you may have read in a thread is very hard to potty train. According to Linda, there are a number of reasons your child might be smearing her faeces. Jan 20, 2008... She may be acting out. It fluctuates what our needs are for quality time and it could be that he is unsettled. 5 years ago | 29.9K views LOL: POOPING AT SCHOOL Don't you hate it when you're pooping at school then right when your about to finish someone walks in? After that, it’s up to him. My three-year-old daughter has been smearing poop, and it has increased in frequency. However, he is for some reason terrified to go poop. (12 Posts) Add message | Report. So I would say: 1. And if you’re reading this then chances are that you, or someone you know, is affected by it. Typically it is sensory and you could possibly try a PECS strip that shows the steps of using the toilet and washing hands then add some that show fingers wiping on the wall … 'Always look for, and treat, any medical causes first.’. And how do you react to her smearing? But says she can't do it when she poops. Extremely large poops may be the outcome of eating a very large meal or the result of chronic constipation. If your OH won't agree to put a stop to this, maybe he wouldn't mind cleaning it off the walls? Why is your 3 year old wiping poop on the walls? good luck. If it’s related to smell… try aromatherapy oils to provide an alternative smell. Constipation is often associated with getting older. Yes dear reader, it is. My grandson is 8 years old. I've been working with her on wiping her self after she poops but she refuses to do it. 0 0 1 0 0 0 0. i would treat it like its no big deal...ie dont punish him but ask him to clean it off but not in a harsh critisizing way. that alerts him that you know the poo is his and you have then instructed him on what he is to do to keep the home hygenic. If you’ve ruled out a medical cause, Linda recommends keeping a diary of when your child smears. Yells my 6 year old son, his bottom waving in the air like a peachy balloon. Does he have any special needs at all? She will go to her room and try to change her pull up herself and... (7 replies) 5 year old smearing feces. My son, who is 8 years old has recently began smearing poo on things in the bathroom. It may be that your child is constipated or her bum is sore and itchy, or some other medical issue. Wiki User Answered . My OH (his father) is reluctant to punish him for this, so I don't feel its in my place to punish him if his Dad doesn't. Reply Delete. The are usually several causes and your child may have started smearing for one reason — say physical discomfort — and now it's become habit. Smearing has been linked to children with autism, but this is only one of many possible causes. Hi, From behaviour to bedtimes, school choices to screen time, this is the place to talk all things child-related. ‘You need to clear up the mess with minimal attention to your child and without showing disgust. Even is she doesn't manage to go, Linda recommends praising her for trying and then carry on with whatever you were doing before the smearing. Guessing its the same student as it appears to be the same design. she usually just smudges it on and draws stick figure people with it but it is disgusting and i dont know how to stop her. She wipes just fine when she pees. He smears it on the wall because it seems easier. Make sure her diet contains lots of natural fibre — plenty of fruit, vegetables and whole grains — and that you're also encouraging her to drink plenty of water. This can include putting playdough out to play with during the day (if she is old enough) or touch boards offering different textures. i know you're not his mum but if you want to treat all the children equally and would punish your biological children if they did this behaviour then surely you need to punish him or there is a definite double standard. Of course it’s okay to feel it’s disgusting but you mustn’t show it. In a non-punitive tone show and tell him how to clean his pants—once. It may well be he "needs attention" rather than attention seeking(sorry I really don't like the phrase, we all have needs that need to be met). 'Although less common, smearing can be linked to trauma, so bear this in mind as well.’. This a an entirely different issue - … It might be worth talking to your doctor to see if you can organise some counselling for him. Not far off but I’ll spare you the details. Poo smearing was a topic talked about when we fostered, because the children have been hurt, and so if he had someone he could talk to about his birth mother that might help him? i agree with this. i would treat it like its no big deal...ie dont punish him but ask him to clean it off but not in a harsh critisizing way. But many kids beyond the age of toilet teaching (generally older than 4 years) who soil their underwear have a condition known as encopresis (en-kah-PREE-sis). He may feel his nose put out of joint with the younger one. I do think though your OH needs to understand that this behaviour is not acceptable and you need an united front to tackle it best. Did something occur that made her want your attention? He said that he just can't wipe himself well, but it is - Answered by a verified Pediatrician I have suggested to OH to take the computer off him for one night every time he does it, but OH won't do it. or at any public restrooms? First, thank you for this article as it clearly means I’m not alone. ‘People are uncomfortable talking about it, but there's really no need to feel that way.’. See Answer. i think by making him clean it off each time it will make him realize the consequenses but not embarrass him by actually saying its poo iyswim xx, https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/being-mum-794/children-4-11-years-60/834904-9-year-old-smearing-poo-walls.html#post8368974, 9 year old boy birthday party what to do/where to go. A 22-year-old female asked: wat causes my child to eat feces?it has become a daily thing.also eats:rocks, hair, flour, dirt, vaseline, books, basically anything she can but mainly poo Dr. Ira Rubin answered It does sound like that he has quality time with you but it could be that he needs more. Linda says: ‘Your child might be very insensitive and not feel it when she goes. Does he do it at school? Aging causes the gut to slow down, so poop does not pass through as quickly. The key is to praise good behaviour while (as much as possible) calmly dealing with smearing. My SIX year old has smeared poo on the walls at school, help! (They don't call it the Anal Stage for nothin'!) Smearing has been linked to children with autism, but this is only one of many possible causes. How you are coping with it on a regular basis I really don't know it's horrible. Hi The strangest part is I will go into his room sometimes and in his closet he will be standing and trying to poop. Asked by Wiki User. All our articles and reviews are written independently by the Netmums editorial team. January 8, 2021 The assault on the building turned deadly when a Capitol Police officer shot and killed one demonstrator , Ashli Babbitt, a 35-year-old Air … It's normal for a toddler to play in poop, because they haven't yet developed the usual disgust reaction. It is very common in boys, especially your sons age. No 8 year old wants to poop his pants. I'll try some of the suggestions given. I told her she has to Starr doing it herself because at school they cannot do it for her. It's really upsetting me now as I don't know if it is normal or not, and the constant cleaning it away is making me feel ill. Hi Debbie Smearing can take lots of different forms, from a toddler reaching into her nappy and then wiping poo on herself through to an older child taking faeces out of the toilet and playing with it. Also, 6 is, I think, old enough for the conversation that goes: if you don't wipe and get all the poop off, you will get an infection, and you will smell like poop. Remember, even negative attention is attention.’. The most logical answer is to use the sink to wash his hands. :(, i know you're not his mum but if you want to treat all the children equally and would punish your biological children if they did this behaviour then surely you need to punish him or there is a definite double standard. It’s something that’s rarely talked about, but faecal smearing — real name scatolia — is not uncommon in young children. Whether or not the behaviour is linked to constipation, Linda suggests: She explains: ‘It's important to establish regular mealtimes. This way, you can work out if there is a pattern to the behaviour and whether it has now become a habit. It can be very difficult for you as a parent to cope with and can stop you wanting to have people over or go out, in case your child smears. He was playing with poop. Very gross. ), it will be hugely embarrassing for such a big boy. How you are coping with it on a regular basis I really don't know it's horrible. But the 1 year old especially takes up more of our time with dressing, changing and feeding. They have a problem with their bowels that dulls the normal urge to go to the bathroom. So they can't control the accidents that usually follow. In every case reward and respond in a way you know your child will enjoy.'. Linda says: ‘Whenever your child poos in the toilet or potty, even if they try but don’t produce anything, reward with lots of praise and attention. In contrast, my 3 year old banishes me from the room muttering “I do it myself”. I'm going through this Right Now and My County Will NOT HELP ME!!! the school has never said anything about it, but he has a parents evening coming up soon. Have namechanged in case dd wants to be a politician or marry someone in the royal family when she grows up. I have not seen research on this, but in my experience, kids who do this are usually in need of sensory input. If this sounds like your son and you need help being pointed in the right direction for help, email me directly. I was at a loss as to what to do about it and as to why he was doing it. Honestly, it took about 6 months before he was doing a decent job. My daughter suffered from it (she is 5) and we got it under control after 2.5 years of her suffering. If you feed your child at regular intervals, she’ll probably poo at regular intervals too. then if he says no ask again more firmly. Linda suggests: If it’s related to touch… give your child alternative sensory stimulation. There is never any deliberate favouritism and we do try to make sure they are all treated fairly. ‘Other children may be overly sensitive – their anus may feel sore or itchy and, when they scratch, if they find poo they may try to dispose of it. Linda recommends clearing up without involving your child might be worth talking to child. And I do to get rid of it, and it has increased frequency! N'T know it 's driving me mad as we have two younger children and I remember it.. Dosnt even wash her hands afterwards so she spreads it onto her fae, our! Never said anything about it, but he has quality time with each of them and as... I work in an Elementary school and we got it under control after 2.5 years of her.... Lost and alone worth talking to your child will enjoy. 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